Its been awhile since I have written, excuses is all I can give BUT I promise you he’s been working out the kinks in my life.  As many of you have witnessed by my writings I have not been consistent in my “life” patterns. 2017 was the start of my rebuild which was absolutely an amazing growth experience and then 2018 came. Once I saw Michael marry someone other than myself, remember he proclaimed he didn’t want to live with out me my world shattered. I began to numb again in so many ways from those heavy chains to the SUPER busy life where I couldn’t face ME. I was still grieving and healing and then IT all froze due to my choices to escape. I remember 2017, stripping down to the core was the scariest and I wasn’t done yet in 2018. I had just came back from Texas in hopes for new beginnings home here in IL  but my new beginnings became my past all over again. As 2018 progressed into 2019 I was so tired of the chains that bound me again and the lifestyle where I was always on the run. I became very tired and weary, in these moments I was experiencing personal attacks at both jobs and life was so heavy. I knew that I needed some changes, I needed to break the chains, remember and OWN MY WORTH in order to rise above it all again. I began to surrender and prayed that he would help me see the light again. Little by little my prayers were being answered, a blessing of a new job that could satisfy my lifestyle so I only have to work one &  I prayed god would break these chains that bound me to my past. In getting this job I believed in him enough to lay down my addictions and have been set free for weeks. The glory to rise again in his honor for all he did for me is more than I could have asked for. “Believe”… I tell you no matter what you’re facing talk to him, surrender and he will listen and walk with you.

I know my new journey will lead me in letting go of some that do not belong anymore in my life, some near and dear. They need to stay in what will be my past, for I need to continue to learn that some people are made for a season & some come for a lifetime, and I cannot confuse the 2.  Today in mass to started to prep for Baptism next weekend, I remember my baptism and what it felt like to let it all go, to start again in his walk. I feel he has giving me another chance to start over, time to heal and time to praise. Is he giving you your second chance, maybe its your third or fourth? He never gives up on us as long as we believe in the wonders of him.

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

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At 42 years old I'm finally learning the purpose of life. Life changed for me this year in ways I could never have imagined, at my darkest days God showed me the light and brought me back to life. Sometimes you must lose it all in order to start again and this time with meaning. Being greatful for the blessings you have and for the blessing you can bestow on others. Realizing what is truly important in life is the impact you bring on others. I had always wanted to use my personal training to give women back power, power that I felt the first time I fell after a bad break up. I used training to rebuild myself but as explained in My Story is was never a complete rebuild. This year being ripped to my core I was able to rebuild myself not in the physical sense this time but the mental, emotional and spiritual foundations. See being fit is about completion of mind, body & spirit. I want to be able to help women see their true potential in life and each other.

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